So, You’re Going as a Sexy Pumpkin?

Chola Snow White
As a feminist, I’ve experienced many an October where everyone I’ve ever encountered wants to know my opinion on “slutty” Halloween costumes. If you’ve hibernated during October for the last ten years and don’t know what I’m talking about, I believe that Cady Heron of Mean Girls explained it best when she said “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” This film affirmed the uniform of lingerie and fluffy animal ears for women dressing up for Halloween.

S&M Sleeping Beauty
As soon as the first pumpkin spice beverage has been purchased, my best friend and I ritually visit our favorite Halloween costume websites. We usually begin with the intention of finding ideas for costumes to build ourselves, but this process always devolves into judgment, offense, and exasperation with our peers. Last year’s introduction of Chola Snow White was only topped by this year’s S&M Sleeping Beauty. The sexy gardener, sexy shower, and sexy take-out box are all costumes I can’t even begin to understand. Not because the women in the photos are wearing about 10 inches of fabric, but because these are peculiar costume ideas in the first place. Really? A shower? Even an unsexy shower is a bizarre costume. 

"Sexy" Shower
I happen to envy the women who wear ten inches (or less) of fabric on Halloween. When I want to dress as someone unlike myself, I do tend to resort to the more revealing of costumes because I do not feel confident enough in my everyday life to show that amount of my body. My body is also not something I often use for attention-getting purposes, but on two nights of the year (Halloween and my birthday) I am glad to have an excuse to pretend I’m effortlessly willing to expose the goods.

So to the ladies and gentleman who plan on painting on some whiskers to go with your lingerie for Halloween, I give you my blessing. If you’ve added the word “sexy” to the beginning of your costume title (sexy Ash Ketchum, sexy Obama, sexy couch cushion), then more power to you. If you actually purchased one of the wildly overpriced costume-in-a-bags from a costume website, I’m judging you more than a little, but I hope it was worth the overdraft fee.

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